You can't say anything these days...!

“You can’t say anything these days (without offending someone).” People often reply with this when someone else points out that a word or phrase they’ve used might be inappropriate or offensive. The fact is, you can indeed say whatever you like. The real point is that what you do say will have consequences.

The first consequence is obvious. Your words might offend someone.

The second consequence is that people will judge you. In most of the situations I'm thinking of, the listener is not personally offended, rather they are just judging you. This is because language is a mirror. Everything you say, and the way you say it, is a reflection of you. Anyone pointing out your language is likely questioning their judgement of you and perhaps doing so because they expected or at least hoped for something different.

Language matters!

And here's why the topic interests me so much, and why I've decided to include this blog on a website about language learning.

You probably don’t realise you’re doing it, but every time you speak, you are making language choices. You might use old-fashioned terms, modern terms, or slang; you might choose British English over American English, and you'll likely have a dialect which is specific to your region. Your word choices can also hint at your social status, education, or even your job, and it might reflect your role as a parent or child, teacher or student. Language is like a fingerprint of who you are. Another interesting point is that by its nature, language evolves. Words and expressions that were normal a few decades ago can feel outdated today just as new words and phrases enter our language all the time. Whether you allow your language to evolve will reveal how willing or unwilling you are to learn and grow.

Get defensive or learn something? Another choice you have

When someone points out your language, what happens next?... Do you feel the need to defend yourself? Do you explain that no offense was intended? Do you point out how it was back in your day? Or do you suggest that people are too sensitive these days? How you respond to being challenged actually shows more about you than the original words ever could. If you truly have no intention of offending and are open to self-improvement, you would surely take the point as a positive opportunity to learn and adjust.

A final thought

Don't you think there's also a certain irony in all this defensiveness? The claim is that people are “too easily offended” these days, that they are “snowflakes” or “woke” (used negatively). Have you ever noticed that in many cases, the person most emotionally affected (or offended) in that moment is the one being corrected?